how soccer explains absolutely, positively everything.

(Joshua Masayoshi Huff)


You'd think that, here at the Collective, all we do is eat, breathe and sleep soccer. Well, we do--sorta. Both my and bsto's homepages are Arsenal.com. I can't really explain why--I think it's the redcurrant that's easy on the eyes at 7 AM. Oh, and because the site heralds the greatest team on the planet. Yeah, that.

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But I digress. Today, I just found some articles that illustrate that, as Franklin Foer's "How Soccer Explains the World"...well, soccer really does explain the world. Well, maybe not explains--but it is a perfect microcosm of the world: xenophobia, sexism and money.

(Sexism: Fifa's prez, Sepp Blatter, said ""Let the women play in more feminine clothes like they do in volleyball. Female players are pretty, if you excuse me for saying so, and they already have some different rules to men - such as playing with a lighter ball. That decision was taken to create a more female aesthetic, so why not do it in fashion?" )

Yikes.

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First up: An Iraqi player's work permit was denied because Iraq's national team is not among the top 70 teams in the world.

If one isn't from the European Union, getting a work permit to play professional football in England is incredibly tough (as if being wanted by a club wasn't difficult enough). One must play for a top 70 nation squad and must have featured in at least 75% of his home nation's senior national team games in the last two years.

This has prevented many players from playing in England--especially many Americans. This rule hurts non-EU citizens who are talented but young (Freddy Adu)--these players could be exponentially better if they were training at the academies of one of Europe's best sides. Nothing against the US' facilities (we have the absolute best in the world...and, for this very reason, we will win the World Cup within the next 20 years), but the competition within the US just is not the greatest as of yet.

This rule penalizes not only youngsters but also those not privileged enough to be born in "footballing nations". We want to talk about spreading the wealth and giving people opportunities, yet we close the door on people based on the fact that they were weren't born within the right imaginary, arbitrary country line. Absolutely absurd.

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Next: Howard University's coach was busted in a teenage sex trap. Once your sport reaches To Catch a Predator levels...you know you've hit the big time.

I know, there's nothing funny about soliciting a minor. There isn't. But the cat stuff? AND THE COP DRESSED AS A SHRUB?

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Ok, on a semi-serious note, if you haven't already taken our advice and started to read the Guardian's Soccer coverage daily, start doing so. Even if you don't care about transfers or scores or the table or anything, they've got a staff of great writers who talk about the cultural implications of the sport on a daily basis.

Case in point: How Football Can Explain the US Elections.

Sure, maybe you don't need it if you're a politics-following American, but I sure found it insightful and enlightening.

On a similar note, the venerable Economist has taken on American football v. international football on many occasions.

And it has also been rebuffed.


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Cheers--two days left in the week!

Greatest YouTube Soccer Goals: International

This is a list I've been wanting to compile for some time: the greatest internet searchable soccer goals since 98.

For this post, though, here's 25 great international goals from YouTube. Obviously the majority will be from major teams in major tournaments, and most from the top of my head--I'm sure some cat from United Arab Emirates or another insignificant soccer country scored some great goal in the past 10 years, but bummer.

If you want to suggest others, post via the comments. If you have questions on context or anything about the games themselves, ask via the comments.

Please keep in mind that the YouTube versions are often grainy on first view--you sometimes have to wait for the instant replays to get a real look at the goals.

SWEDEN

1- H. Larsson v Bulgaria in Euro 04

2- Z. Ibrahimavic v Italy in Euro 04

ENGLAND

3- J. Cole v Sweden in WC 06

4- Becks v Greece in 01 qualifier

5- M. Owen v Argentina in WC 98

PORTUGAL

6-L. Figo v England in Euro 00

7- Maniche v Holland in Euro 04

9- Rui Costa v England in Euro 04

CZECH REBULIC

10- T. Rosicky v USA in WC 06

11- M. Baros vs Holland in Euro 04 (go to 2:05)

GERMANY

12- P. Lahm v Costa Rica in WC 06

SPAIN

13- F. Torres v Ukraine in WC 06

14- Torres v Tunisia in WC 06 (bonus: best celebration award)

FRANCE

15- T. Henry v Ireland in World Cup 2006 Qualifier

16- D. Trezeguet v Italy in Euro 2000 final

17- Z. Zidane v England in Euro 2004

ARGENTINA

18- M. Rodriguez v Mexico in WC 06 (best goal on this list?)

HOLLAND

20- R. Van Nistlerooy v Germany in Euro 04

21- P. Kluivert v Brasil in WC 98 (justification: most aesthetic slow motion replay)

ITALY

22- R. Baggio v Brasil in WC 98 Final

haha, sorry I couldn't resist

22- G. Zambrotta v Ukraine in WC 06

BRAZIL

23- Ronaldinho v England in WC 02

24- Rivaldo v England in WC 02

25- Ronaldinho v Haiti in friendly

skip bayless (idiot), rick majerus (hero), the super bowl xlii (incredibly captivating yet exceptionally disappointing)

(Joshua Masayoshi Huff)

The following are all quotes collected from Skip Bayless over the last two days on "First and Ten" (which is a dismal show simply because he is on it. however, espn is the channel my tv is permanently on--unless, of course, "the simpsons" is on)


Bayless "The NBA MVP should go to the best player on the best team, so, since the Suns are first in the West right now, I say give it to Steve Nash. I don't know him personally or know his politics or care for his politics... and I don't care what color he is"

First off, the MVP should never be about the best player on the best team. It should ALWAYS be about the most valuable player to his or her own team. I don't even think Steve Nash is the Suns' most valuable player this season. It's idiots like Bayless who prevent Kobe from winning the MVP. Kobe was the sole reason that his team made the play-offs last year, yet absolute idiots like Bayless can't see that. By his own logic, Tim Duncan should be the NBA's MVP. WRONG.

And, I mean, he just defended himself for absolutely nothing. Nobody said you knew him or cared about his politics. But to say "it doesn't matter what color he is"? ...uhhh...really. You're really going there after all the tension over race and Catholicism as of late?

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Bayless:

"Terrell Owens just isn't a premier wide receiver. He should not be the focal point of any offense because he just isn't that good. Four catches in a play-off game?"

What about Randy Moss, ass? How many catches did he have this weekend? Two? Six? Give me a break. Are you not going to build your offense around Moss either? Look, these guys are winners. There is not another wide receiver more talented than these two in the league (outside of Chad Johnson).

Bayless said "Having these guys is just not good business. They're cancers in the locker room."



That's cancerous? "That's my teammate...that's my quarterback. And if you guys do that, man, it's unfair. We lost as a team". I don't think I've seen defense of any teammate that was that poignant or heartfelt ever. I would not hesitate to sign Terrell Owens as the cornerstone of my offense. Yes, he's 34. I'd give him a two-year deal in a heartbeat.


Wait, it gets better.

"Wes Welker should have been a first-team Pro Bowl pick. Terrell Owens should not have been"

First of all, they don't even play in the same conference, so this entire argument is null. Secondly, I was going to write the other day how much I love Wes Welker (because I really do..he's scrappy and a gamer). But, come on--would anyone on the planet say that Welker is a better football player than Owens?

No. Not even my non-football watching sister. Because if you have access to the internet or a television or to other people in general, you would kind of just know that Owens is a better football player than Welker.

"This is not fantasy football here. The touchdowns get overrated".

Yeah. Because the best way to score in football is overrated.

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Bayless: "The Cavs are the best team in the east. their supporting cast went 27-for-34 last night (two nights ago). They have the best player and the best supporting players in the East"

THE CELTICS, IDIOT. ENOUGH SAID.

Does Bayless hear the stuff he says? The barometer, for me, if you really believe in your picks is if you're willing to go to Vegas to bet on them (I can now do this legally, mind you). Would Bayless go to Vegas and put money on the Cavs beating the Celtics in a seven-game series? If he would, I have a bridge in New York that I'd like to sell him.

And, even though he lives in New York, I'm sure he'd be dumb enough to buy it.

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And before I get on to the Super Bowl, I want to talk about Rick Majerus. He hasn't had the best month, has he? First, his Billikens somehow managed to not only lose to the Karl Hobbs coached GWU (how anyone can lose to a Karl Hobbs coached team is beyond me), but they managed to score only 20 points in the loss (and the funnier thing is that GW could only manage 49 points. GW is said to like to run and not play in half-court sets, and yet against a DISMAL team that could only manage TWENTY points, GW failed to break 50 points).

Then, at a Democratic Convention, Majerus came out as being "pro-choice". The city of St. Louis' archbishop lambasted Majerus for doing so and called for St. Louis University, a Catholic institution, to punish Majerus.

The archbishop essentially wants Majerus punished for exercising his right as an American to not only have an opinion that diverges from faith but also for expressing it. Majerus describes himself as a Catholic, an I'm sure the archbishop feels that every last pope is rolling over in his grave over the notion that a Catholic has a thought that is different from the Church's official party line. Some may say Majerus is a representative of the university, but that DOES NOT mean that he has to become a Catholic rhetoric spewing automatron. Fine university's are supposed to foster free speech and academic discussion and discourse--and I am pleased that St. Louis University has yet to (at least publicly) denounce Majerus for having an opinion of his own.


And, a non-sequitur: Once, while Majerus was still the coach of the University of Utah basketball team, my family and I were going to California and Majerus was leaving Hawaii. He booked a full row of seats for himself (in coach, mind you) and laid out. Even though they were still a huge WAC foe at the time, I got his autograph and took his picture.


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Now, on to the Super Bowl.


Like bsto, I also hate those pink Red Sox hats.



But, I can't stand peyton. I read GQ every month (for the articles), and I've become somewhat of a Tom Brady fan boy. This may portray me as a "looks over personality" guy--which would be an absolute lie. Tom Brady is more handsome. Fact. But we have NO IDEA how funny the guy is--he's never been given a chance. We can, though, compare him to Peyton Manning based on looks--because we all know what these guys look like.

vs.

No contest.


OK, fine. You want to talk about it in a purely football sense? I'm not going to lie, I love the New England patriots' spread offense--it's pretty much Hawaii's run-and-shoot modified for the pros.

But, I just don't know if I want them to go undefeated. I could care less about the Giants--they play in my beloved Redskins' NFC East, but they're just too boring to even root against. And, the fact of the matter is that the Patriots DID cheat--they did something that was against the rules. By the very definition of cheating, they're in the wrong.

What would my ideal Super Bowl have entailed? The Packers vs. the Patriots. A showdown between Big City Boston and Small Town America. And, as Big City as I am, I wanted Brett Favre to just light up the Patriots and be named the MVP. But, Favre, being the absolute BA that he is, would have already left the stadium and would not haven hoisted up the Super Bowl trophy--no, he would have already been in his pickup, on the way back to Mississippi. It's not because I want average, small town America to win; no, it's because I want Boston to lose.

I'm sick of Boston being so good at everything. Like bsto said--the Revs were in the MLS final. The Red Sox seem to win every other year now. The Bruins aren't as bad as they were in recent years...and the Celtics are going to win the NBA Championship this year (probably).

And, as much as I love Pburg, I really can't stand most of his brethren at GW--the kids who love the Sox (and show this by wearing pink Red Sox caps) and are now wearing Patriots gear. Yes, you're supposed to love your hometown team--but man, there were so many kids from the Northeast that I just got sick. I felt like I went to UMass or Tufts most of the time.

In short, I've never been to Boston, but I actually kinda sorta hate it. This isn't really a unique phenomenon at the Collective--bsto has never been to New York City, but I don't think anyone on the planet despises it more than he.

What do I want to happen in the Super Bowl? Well, I want both teams to lose, but this isn't possible*. I also want the Packers to win, but this isn't possible either. Really, I guess I just don't care. That isn't to say that I'm not going to watch (it is going to be a captivating affair) and that isn't to say that I don't already know the outcome (Patriots 24-21 Giants). I'm not even that blase about the game--I'm just really nonplussed about either outcome.

I just hope it doesn't go to overtime. The NFL play-off system is so laughably bad that I can't help but feel terrible for both teams involved. Even if the Yankees somehow found themselves in overtime in the NFL (somehow, again), I would actually feel a tiny pang in my heart for them...maybe even for Manchester United (I'm not losing my edge--overtime in the NFL is just that bad).

And bsto, you should be ashamed for even considering to speak fondly of Peyton Manning. In case you forgot, he led he Colts to victory against your Bears last year in the Super Bowl.

;)


*-If this were international soccer/football, of course, a tie would be completely possible AND plausible. If this were just a game during a regular season and it just so happened hat both of these teams were vying for the top spot and they ended up drawing, IMAGINE the controversy that would arise: the Patriots would win the title based on point differential. IMAGINE how long it would take Skip Bayless to figure out point differential, and then IMAGINE how how ridiculous the remarks he would have to make about the entire process would be.

And, of course, if it were the final of a tournament in the international soccer system and the teams were tied, they could have a shoot-out. IMAGINE a field goal shoot-out. How amazing would that be?

Why am I not the commissioner of the NFL?

Why I Won't Do Foreign Policy; Part Infinity

When the border between Gaza and Egypt was blown up yesterday, Gazans streamed in from all over the territory to get supplies from Egypt that have been lacking in Gaza. In case you forgot, Hamas took over Gaza in summer and since then (because Hamas has sworn to wipe Israel off the map) Israel has maintained a rather tight watch on Gaza's borders.

This Winter, just after Peace talks between Israel and Palestinians at Annapolis and just before high level talks between Egypt and Israel, Egypt let open their border with Gaza. This pissed Israel off big time because of how carefully they've been monitoring Gaza's borders--it's all for naught if people know they can get in to Gaza no problem via Egypt.

Anyway, since the summer there's been a humanitarian crisis in Gaza. I don't flinch in using the term CRISIS, what is outrageous is that the media is using it so crazily right now when the issue has been ongoing since the summer.

You see (as I wrote here and here , while it was happening), Israel is in an impossible position because if it allows excessive supplies and food and whatever into Gaza this would avoid a humanitarian issue but it would also buttress a regime (Hamas) that has vowed to destroy Israel; not to mention that the Gaza government and economy is corrupt and plutocratic and most of these supplies would be hoarded by the people up top anyway. If, on the other hand, Israel only lets in a small amount of supplies and food and whatever then it not only begins a humanitarian crisis, it also provides Hamas with ample propaganda fodder: there goes Israel, persecuting us again, now it's a siege!

So Israel decided to go with the latter decision and it has taken some real media flack for it--and for good reason because people are truly suffering in Gaza.

Now, last week Israel tightened the border even more because of increased rocket attack from Gaza into neighboring Israeli towns like Sderot. This is what started the most recent media deluge of humanitarian crisis articles, which are really quite pathetic considering, as I said, the crisis has been ongoing for months!

Then, yesterday, the border is breached.

And here's why I would never mess around in Foreign Policy: no matter what Israel does at this point, they're totally screwed. I'm not saying the country's integrity is in danger or anything like that but the fact is that this war is primarily a media war and, at least in regards to Gaza, it has become increasingly difficult for Israel to establish a good-looking position in this affair.

I'm not even mentioning what this will do to Israeli-Egypt relations! Jeeze.

(For follow-up, here's the anti-Hamas editorial by the Washington Post.)

Why the Pats Should Lose the Super Bowl

Here are some reasons why I think the Pats ought to lose. Mind you, they are not football reasons but rather personal, almost arbitrary, spiteful reasons. (We'll reserve any such actual analysis for the real Super Bowl week, seriously, why are there two weeks of buildup? what a disaster.)

-- Boston is killing in all sports except hockey. The Revs made it to the MLS Final, the Celtics are the team to beat in the East, and the Red Sox won the World Series.

-- Bill Belichick is a cheater.

-- Just to get at all those annoying Red Sox fans who wear pink abominations of their teams' jerseys. And those damn pink Red Sox hats. I hate those.

--Because even though so many people seem to call out Peyton Manning for being on TV and having so many ads (I'm talking about you, Bill Simmons) while Tom Brady is not only in as many ads but in grosser ones: here and here. I prefer Peyton's humor to Brady's good looks any day.

don't quit your day job!

(Joshua Masayoshi Huff)

Another illustration of the gap between funding of collegiate sports: The San Diego City College baseball team caught the Honolulu's TheBus from Waikiki to Waipahu because they couldn't afford a van or charter bus.

I hope people stepped up and gave them rides. We always talk about the "Aloha Spirit"--but people often come up pretty short.


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And when your son doesn't have your back, you should really reconsider your priorities. My favorite quote? "I don't think 9/11 was right personally," he said. "I don't agree with 9/11 or with any war where only civilians are dying."

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Check out Consequence's "Don't Quit Your Day Job" if you get a chance. Dude was on a ton of A Tribe Called Quest tracks, and now he's on Kanye's "Good Music" label...and, to top it all off...he's Q Tip's cousin. The beats on the album are really laid back and keyboard and guitar driven--it's a really great rap record to put on if you're trying to unwind.

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Consequence "Job Song"


"How I get stuck in this dead end job when I can rap?
But of course my bill collectors they ain't trying to hear that"

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Consequence "Disperse"



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Kanye West, Consequence and DJ Khaled "Grammy Family"


Kanye's verse is problematic here--especially because of all the anti-homophobic remarks he makes in the media. You're really gonna drop that f bomb here, 'Ye (well, not in this version, but it's easy enough to find).


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Consequence and Kanye West "The Good, the Bad, the Ugly"



Enjoy your Tuesday! You're almost 2/5 done with the work week!

holidaze

(Joshua Masayoshi Huff)

The Associated Press is already working on Britney Spears' obituary. Kinda bogus, no? It's like saying "we have so little faith in your decision making skills that we've decided that it's more important to write an article talking about your life than to actually have someone write a timely story."

A Japanese kid tried to pull something we all dreamed of in middle school but never had the guts to do. I think someone watched a bad dub of Ferris Bueller's Day Off way too often.

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Watching the NFC and AFC Championships yesterday, I really wondered if I prefer the American playoff system or the sort of international "table" system--the one that most professional soccer leagues use abroad. To determine the champion of these leagues, each team plays every other team home-and-away over the course of the season. The team with the most wins/draws wins--without a playoff.

The international system rewards consistent play over the course of a grinding season. The American playoff rewards teams that are playing the best at any given time--though the teams do have to play consistent enough to make it to said playoffs.

Many say that America has the aforementioned playoff system because we haven't got the attention span for a "table" system--that the table system is just not exciting enough. I don't know how I feel, though I will say the most aggravating (and yet oddly exciting) system is the two-legged aggregate system.

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Any does anyone else think that the Cincinnati Bengals have the most ridiculous uniform in sports? I mean, I sat down and thought about it--they have actual tiger stripes on their shirts and pants. If these were children going to trick-or-treat, we'd say "How cute! They're football tigers!"

But these are grown men.

I guess growing up doesn't mean making better fashion decisions, does it?