The State of Union's Demise

The real problem with the State of the Union is the amount of faith America has in a significant rite of democracy. I see three main camps of faith: one that simply hates Bush and everything he does, another that adores the man, and eye-rollers.

In theory, deep down at our democratic core, we should be excited! Here's our elected leader fulfilling his responsibility to the people--providing a report on, you know, what's been up and how we've been doing. All forty-three Presidents have made State of the Union speeches (it's in the constitution)!

But most viewers were not so excited. They made fun of Bush's smirk, his greying hair, and took advantage of every time he stumbled on a word to show why he's unfit to be President.

Sadly, it gets worse, for there is a portion of this country who did the opposite last night. They sat in front of their hero with grins as wide as Rush Limbaugh's belt laid out, and they nodded with confidence and faith.

For me, last night was different. I somehow transcended the whole event--not that it was hard, I simply didn't believe anything he said.

As I watched Bush speak--and saw congresspeople stand up and sit down unconvincingly like when a few members of an audience coerce the rest into demanding an encore--I reached a level of almost tantric un-cynicism.

I mean get real. The entire event is synthetic and has been for a while now. Bush didn't write his speech. He didn't memorize it (just the opposite, he gets rehearsal time AND teleprompters). He sure as hell didn't perform it either, like Churchill might have. And meanwhile, the congresspeople put their sudokus inside their copies of the speech and count down the minutes--"Damn, he's on energy already? Time's flying by!" The speech itself is so boring it deserves a PowerPoint. This isn't solely Bush's fault. Why should I be angry at him for the way our country's most important speech has descended into a lecture?

The fact of the matter is that past the initial veneration of the coiffured ceiling, the big American flag, and the gavel--I just love gavels--the State of the Union is emptier than a monitor sans computer. There's no substance, no personality. The stats are misconstrued, the appeals to emotion via freedom overused, and the language weak and opaque.

Man, I wish I were alive for just one of Lincoln's speeches, or sat by a fireside for one FDR address during WWII. At least then I could react to the voice of the most powerful man in the world instead of just rolling my eyes. And rolling my eyes...and rolling...my...

DJ Bush--give me something to dance to!

Scene: Limbaugh, USA

"Look, let me put it to you this way: the NFL all too often looks like a game between the Bloods and the Crips without any weapons. There, I said it."

Oh, man. What a classic Limbaugh quote, as if he just did us some huge favor. He speaks as if his words point to some deeper revelation on existence. But they don't. They give you that slow forming, Crap, I just ate a piece of rotten Clementine face.

His comments recall what he said about Mcnabb in 2003; that black quarterbacks get too much credit because of their skin color. He “resigned” from ESPN shortly thereafter. And then he pulled the predictable move of every cockyheaded idiot who gets caught up in his own web of soundless statements: "All this has become the tempest that it is because I must have been right about something. If I wasn't right, there wouldn't be this cacophony of outrage that has sprung up in the sports writer community."

At least Tony and Wilbon sort of shrugged it off on PTI this afternoon. I'm glad they didn't contribute to something that might still blow out of proportion. It’s common knowledge that Limbaugh is a drug-abusing fanatic whose rationale is as unconvincing as his integrity. We just don’t have enough time to comment on each of his aphorisms.

Of course, a lot of this country loves the man and probably nodded solemnly when they heard that statement. What a pathetic coincidence that it coincides with the national celebration of the fact that two black coaches made the Super Bowl—when no black coach ever has before.

This after so many years of racial profiling from owners who didn’t think blacks had the ability.

We should all be happy our country is so mature now.

(In other news re: how awesome our country is, a 27 year old sex offender enrolled in a seventh grade class. Wow.)