Scene: Limbaugh, USA

"Look, let me put it to you this way: the NFL all too often looks like a game between the Bloods and the Crips without any weapons. There, I said it."

Oh, man. What a classic Limbaugh quote, as if he just did us some huge favor. He speaks as if his words point to some deeper revelation on existence. But they don't. They give you that slow forming, Crap, I just ate a piece of rotten Clementine face.

His comments recall what he said about Mcnabb in 2003; that black quarterbacks get too much credit because of their skin color. He “resigned” from ESPN shortly thereafter. And then he pulled the predictable move of every cockyheaded idiot who gets caught up in his own web of soundless statements: "All this has become the tempest that it is because I must have been right about something. If I wasn't right, there wouldn't be this cacophony of outrage that has sprung up in the sports writer community."

At least Tony and Wilbon sort of shrugged it off on PTI this afternoon. I'm glad they didn't contribute to something that might still blow out of proportion. It’s common knowledge that Limbaugh is a drug-abusing fanatic whose rationale is as unconvincing as his integrity. We just don’t have enough time to comment on each of his aphorisms.

Of course, a lot of this country loves the man and probably nodded solemnly when they heard that statement. What a pathetic coincidence that it coincides with the national celebration of the fact that two black coaches made the Super Bowl—when no black coach ever has before.

This after so many years of racial profiling from owners who didn’t think blacks had the ability.

We should all be happy our country is so mature now.

(In other news re: how awesome our country is, a 27 year old sex offender enrolled in a seventh grade class. Wow.)

Da Bearsss

Not only did the Bears make the Super Bowl for the first time in 20 years, but they did it in characteristic style.

First, the Bears destroyed America's team--somewhere, Dennis Quaid weeps. (The JJ Collective unanimously concluded that if there is to be any future Disney movie, it will have to end with this: "Unfortunately, the 2006-2007 New Orleans Saints lost a snowy NFC Championship game to the Chicago Bears, who went on to...in Super Bowl XLI"). Isn't it just like America's Second City to upend this country's grandest visions? Just don't tell anyone we invented the skyscraper.

Second, the Bears won playing Bears football. They played industrious defense, ran early and successfully, and truly sucked offensively most of the game.

Third, the Bears maintained their persona that has made them at once the most admirable and boring team this season. Media members from around the country have commented all season on the unequivocal interviews Lovie Smith's evenness, Urlacher's straightforwardness, and Grossman's plain (almost blind) optimism have produced. And I--I love it. I love how our defense only celebrates after important or outstanding stops. It comes from the leadership: if Ray Lewis so much as shields a guy out of bounds the entire Ravens defense gets new tattoos; after Urlacher pops someone in the mouth, he gets up, pulls the grass off his helmet, and calls the next defensive play. The simplicity is heavenly. Who doesn't need a break from the widespread over exaggeration in the NFL--all the way from the moronic announcers down?

Immediately, the Chicago media labelled the 2006-2007 Bears as the team to finally demote the 1985ers to history. I'm not so convinced. Too often this team has squeaked by--they're about as dependable as a Mayor Daley campaign speech. Besides, if they lose on Feb. 4th it will be them who quickly vacate our consciouses.

But what I do love is the prospect of my first ever TRUE Super Bowl experience and the fact that if Lovie, Urlacher, or Rex ever read this post they will probably nod, smile and get right back to work.