bubblegum spectacular!

(Joshua Masayoshi Huff)

If you know anything about me, you know I have a really soft spot for pop--in any shape or form. I've been on a pop kick lately, and I wanted to call your attention to some songs that were huge pop hits--and that are actually quite dirty (and awesome) lyrically.

This entry is meant to do two things: remind you of great songs and make you smile with the lyrics of songs marketed to humans under the age of 12. The fact that all of these CDs can be found in the Huff household not only amuses me--it astounds me. My mom hates rap, but mom, this is probably a lot worse--especially because you can make out all of the words. At least rap had the worst bits taken out on the radio.

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Jordan Knight "Give it to You"



I mean, no good pop song is a good pop song without sexual innuendo, and the opening lines to the song are inoffensively offensive enough.

The pre-chorus is where things start to get weird:
"It's creepin' around in your head
Me holdin' you down in my bed
You don't have to say a word
I'm convinced you want this"

So Jordan was bitten by the "I'm incredibly awesome" bug (he sings, later on "I'm the place to be/and soon, you'll see")

THEN! "Anyone can make you sweat/But I can keep you wet"

NEXT!

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5ive "When the Lights Go Out"



5ive was put together by the same geniuses behind the Spice Girls...they never quite made it here in the states, but this song was pretty big among the Disney Channel set.

The hook?
"Baby when the lights go out every single word
Could not express the love and tenderness
I'll show you what its all about babe
I swear you will succumb to me
So baby come to me
When the lights go out"

Like all teenagers, 5ive could only express "love and tenderness" without the lights on...and, of course, "every single word" could not express these feelings. Of course.

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Spice Girls "2 Become 1"



This song embarrassed me to no end. In fourth grade, two girls used to sing it in class, and I always blushed, because, somehow, I was acutely aware of the fact that the song was overtly sexual.

And, to be honest, to this day, I cannot figure out if the title refers to actual intercourse OR about conception.

Interestingly, in the album version of this song, Victoria/Posh sings

"Any deal that we endeavour,
Boys and girls feel good together,
Take it or leave it, take it or leave it"

in the video version, she sings:

"Once again if we endeavor,
Love will bring us back together,
Take it or leave it, take it or leave it"

For some reason, this was deemed inappropriate, while Emma/Baby singing "Are you as good as I remember baby/Get it on, get it on" is perfectly fine...as is "Be a little bit wiser, baby, put it on, put it on" (fine, this line promotes safe sex--however, it's a lot more explicit than "boys and girls feel good together")


This song is immense, especially the string outro.

-------
Jennifer Paige "Crush"



"If you see something in my eye let's not overanalyze/
Don't go too deep with it baby
So let it be what it'll be
Don't make a fuss and go crazy over you and me
Here's what I'll do
I'll play loose
Not like we have a date with destiny"

Mean enough, right?

Wrong.

"It's just a little crush
Not like I faint every time we touch
It's just some little thing
Not like everything I do
Depends on you"

Ouch.

"Say the word forevermore
That's not what I'm looking for
All I can commit to is maybe"

Well, I guess you can't ever call her clingy.

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Last up is my personal favorite song of the bunch...Soul Decision's "Faded"



Trevor Guthrie makes it absolutely clear what he wants.

"When I get you all alone
I'm going to move in nice and close
Ain't nobody gonna interupt my game
Ever since you've been hangin round
I've been trying to figure out
What i can say to you to get some play"

it gets better.

"Could we do what we did last night again?
Baby you and i be better friends
Dont you think its time we went a bit further oh yeah
Every night when we say good bye
How can i help looking in your eyes
Wondering why you and I haven't hit it can we get it"

and...the hook:

"I'm kinda faded but I feel alright
Thinkin about makin my move tonight
I cant pretend that your only my friend when your holding my body tight
'Cuz i like the way you're making me move/I like the way you're making me wait
At the end of the night when I make up your mind you'll be coming on home with me"


(the rapper even manages to call the band indecision..and not soul decision.)

The best part? On the album version, instead of "When I get you all alone/I'm going to move in nice and close", the lines "when I get you all alone/I'm gonna take off all your clothes" is sung.

Brilliant.

I still can't get over how well written this song is--it's got such a great vibe. And singing "I'm kind of faded but I feel alright" while trying to tell a girl how much you like her...and trying to persuade her to sleep with you? Mr. Guthrie must have a lot of game/self-confidence/be full of stupidity if he thinks his approach will actually work.

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Not to say that all of their stuff is so borderline naughty...take "Oooh It's Kind of Crazy", for example.



I actually went and bought this song on amazon.com after hearing it just now. What a tune--the opening is eerily reminiscent of Kajagoogoo's "Too Shy"

And I'd be lying if I said this wasn't my seventh-grade dream--to wake up, play N64, and see scores of girls outside of my window, screaming and yelling and wanting to hang out with me for no good reason at all.

This music video is seventh grade. It just is.

(and does the song REALLY open with the line " If you want my love help me heal the pain in my eyes"? Wow.)
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I'll leave you with the song that's currently refusing to leave my brain: Halcali's "Tandem"



At first, the song seems absolutely terrible, and that doesn't change: it remains absolutely terrible. It's off-pitch and off-beat...but for some reason, I just can't stop listening to it. It's the equivalent of an audio car crash, I guess--you know it's terrible to look (or watch/listen), but you just have to...and once you do, you can't turn away.

Even if you really want to. There are a ton of references to other Japanese pop culture phenomenons (Utada Hikaru's "Automatic", for instance), but even if you don't pick up on them, I guarantee that you'll watch this video at least 24 times.

Pop music (regardless of country of origin) is like Pringles: once you pop, the fun don't stop.