Friday, January 16, 2009

Friday Video Premiere

*Every* Friday, we're highlighting a specific video (or two, or three) for your end of week enjoyment.

This week's video involves the newly crowned Fifa world player of the year, to whom Nike made this viral ad/homage:

Cristiano Ronaldo (who should be called "Cronaldo" in order to separate him and the best Ronaldo at the time of his emergence) may have won the world's best player award last week. But he sure as balls didn't win any more fans. A quick recap:

Here's why you may love Ronaldo:

  • He's the best dribbler in the world; when a move of his comes off right, it seems to defy the physical limitations of earth. He can do ridiculous freestyle tricks, and has uncanny control:

  • He has a unique form of striking the ball from free kicks; when he kicks it right, the ball swerves in a manner that seems to defy the physical limitations of earth.
  • He cries. A lot. That shows passion, that shows commitment.
  • He has scored some important goals in big games.
  • He's good looking, and has a Portuguese accent.
But there's a reason why Nike's above video is meaningful, and I'm not talking about some cheesy cliche like "Your hate makes me unstoppable." The reason why Nike created something good here is that Cronaldo is one of the easiest players in sports to hate.

Here's why you should hate Cronaldo:
  • He dives enough to ruin the game for the average American viewer. The number one complaint of American viewers towards soccer these days is no longer "Wahhhh wahhhh, there aren't enough goals, soccer is boring." Now it's, "those guys are such wimps, why do they fake injury and fouls?" Cronaldo is the premier diver in soccer. If you hate diving, you don't like Cronaldo.
  • Worse than just diving, he's a drama queen. He stays on the ground flopping around like a fish out of water and it's really embarrassing just to watch.
  • He has a tendency to lash out at opposing players, commiting gross fouls that could cause serious injury.
  • He plays for Manchester United.

I know. It doesn't add up. And honestly, I don't HATE the man. But I don't like him. It's hard to hate anybody who can do the things he does with a soccer ball; he's literally invented a new set of moves for younguns to replicate. But his diving is terrible and hurts the game I love.

So now you know, if I'm in that Nike commercial, I'm pulling down the black screen.

Here's a good compilation: